Narrowing lens, changing perspective.

The internet is FLOODED with things to spend time on. I can bounce from Youtube video to Youtube video, to blog, to news website, to you name it. Let us not even begin to mention the life-sucker that is Facebook. I hate how many times a day I check my Gmail account and how sometimes I feel slightly anxious or disconnected when I am away from my computer for a few days.

When did I start communicating with people just as much through this as in person? Maybe, it was when I moved away from my old friends and family. Maybe, it was when I made new friends in other places and wanted to keep in touch with them. It's so great that I can keep in contact with so many people through internet. But, do we communicate because we want to really and would otherwise without it? I feel like sometimes things like Facebook and email may have us communicating with each other out of obligation to want to be connected with so many people in so many different ways.

The more I do this, the less I communicate with my immediate environment. I don't take time to just think, I don't listen to the words of the music that I have on, I don't take deep breaths of the way I used to, I don't smell it, and I don't always chew my food to taste it. It seems like all of these things become the background my laptop, whether it be while I am reading news from one of 5 websites I check daily, or an episode of Californication.

Our way of communicating is changing. In many ways this is great and I'm happy to be able to stay close to my loved ones while I am out and about, doing my thing. But, I think in some way, for me personally, the constant inundation of sounds, information and stuff that I find on my computer has me losing touch with myself. I'm turning into a consumer of another variety. I can take and read and listen and take in mass amounts of whatever it may be, just because it is at my fingertips.

I realized this between soccer on the beach in Getares yesterday and my morning rituals here in my apartment. I was surrounded by natural beauty, having a good time with friends, and appreciating it all, while somehow feeling anxious because I couldn't check my mail at a moment's notice. And yet, this morning, I sit here at my computer, no less anxious, no more fulfilled.